Marriage is a 1-Way Street

Life is a one way street.  We are all moving forward, striding or kicking and screaming.  Some of you will say, oh, he is just playing with words.  Well, to be fair, we are all just playing with words, building castles in the air that cast shadows in our minds.  Its like many of the original side scrolling video games.  That left sweep was coming whether you wanted it or not.  Or for those of who are slightly less nerdy, it is like we are all on the conveyor belt at the grocery store, but it seems someone forgot to put out the hollow, black, rectangular prism of separation.  The current washes all ships forward.  As creatures bound to time, we do not have the luxury of removed analysis.  All our examination occurs on the go.  Its like being a mechanic who must rebuild an engine, as the car is driving.  (In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t really, really know what it means to rebuild an engine.)

Yay!  The veil comes up.  OK good, it’s the right bride.  Kiss.  Everyone claps because we’ve never done that before.  I actually know some people who waited to kiss until their wedding day.  Years and kids later, they are still going strong.  Shame on all the “Dude, would you buy a car without test driving it?” guys out there.  I don’t know, would you say something like that without being an idiot?  While these folks are happily married, you are out there having sex with cars.  I hope you are using protection.

So, you are married.  Once again, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell on my self. My wedding day was one of the worst, and best, days of my life.  I was so depressed.  Being bipolar, there is not always a correlation between event and reaction.  Chemicals in the brain and emotions mix like milk and hot sun.  I was thinking “I will suck at this, so much.  I will introduce a new level of suckiness to marriage.  I will be like the collective occupants of a bar, during Mardi Gras, at about 1 o’clock in the morning, walking on a tight rope, blind folded, during a hurricane.” I soldiered through and really enjoyed watching my wife and listening to people say nice things about me during the toasts.  I wish there were some more toasts.  Oh, and I started my marriage, which is pretty awesome.

So, you are married.  Now, you are on your honeymoon having (such a good time) with your wife.  Everything is awesome, to quote the Lego movie.  Then, you get back.  The end.

Except, it’s not the end.  It’s the beginning.  You push forward.  You hold hands.  You see that God has actually tied you to another human being in a way you don’t fully understand.  You realize (hopefully) that you do possess all that suckiness and that the aforementioned Mardi Gras tightrope is the new jump rope of your indefatigable self will.  You realize she is right more than half the time.  (Erase that.)  70% of the time.  (Erase that.)  80% of the time.  (Erase that.)  78.3% of the time.  And I don’t mean right like what is the capital of Angola or how far is it from Earth to our moon.  I mean that she is right at a gut, deep, spiritual level.  Why?  Because she has a PhD in the theology of marriage?  No, because she is not as selfish as you.  Thank God.

So, single people, you can sit down right now and try to figure out exactly how those special scripture passages apply to marital relationship and life.  Because right now you have the closest thing to a paused moment in marital time.  But good look finding a lab that reflects the conditions of marriage.  Maybe, you could go tandem skydiving while discussing who packed the parachute?

What I’m trying to say is I have all the answers.  (Yeah, they managed to shrink them all down and put them in this book that for some reason decided to start almost every section with the name of a dude or a city.)  But having all the answers isn’t having all the answers. If marriage is a 2-way street then maybe its time to pull a Uee and go find your spouse.  Let us remember one thing, the grass always looks greener on the other side because we’re idiots.  All you married professing Christian guys out there who are “stuck” or “don’t love your wives anymore”, do me a favor, no, do you a favor.  Break up with your girlfriend, talk to your wife, start reading the Bible and praying together, and most importantly, get over your self.  You made a covenant with God.  Remember, when God promised you salvation through the atoning sacrifice of His Son?  I know we don’t want that promise broken (and obviously it won’t be).  So, I don’t care how you feel.  Actually, that’s not true.  I care very much, and so does God, and He will help you in your heart.  You are a Christian man, which is a beautiful thing, but you don’t belong to you, and your master hates divorce.  Marriage is a 1-way street, but let’s not even get started on the speed limit.

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